I just finished reading “The Honeymoon,” a novel by Dinitia Smith. I was drawn to it by reading a review of it in the NY Times, and knowing it took place in Venice. I love Venice, one of the most romantic spots in the world, and I have been blessed to travel there with Keith.

The story is about George Eliot, who was a  famous, eighteen century English author.  Her real name was Marian Evans.  She was a private and shy woman, and due to her fame, took the name of George Eliot.

The book explores her two romantic relationships, one of them, out of wedlock,  with George Lewes, a love that Marian knew she would never experience again.  A love that was so strong between two people that it was almost like a dream.  Throughout the book, Marian is aware that it could not go on forever, and she is devastated when he dies. She takes to her bed for months, and refuses to have any visitors.

The second relationship was to a very strange man, who was twenty years younger than she. Her role was as his caretaker, as he had a serious drinking problem and they had separate boudoir’s.  It was deeply troubling to her, nothing like that one love she had experienced.

George Eliot was an incredible writer, the author of seven novels; one that resonated with me was “Middlemarch.”  I highly recommend this fictionalized account of her life. So beautifully written, and I learned many interesting tidbits!

I just finished reading a lovely book, My Paris Dream, by Kate Betts.  I chose it because I love anything that is related to Paris. This happens to be a memoir, which is even better.

Kate ventured off to Paris after graduating from Princeton; she had been there one other time with a girlfriend back in high school. Kate’s passion was fashion and nothing was going to stop her.  She began as a reporter for Women’s Wear Daily in Paris. At the time, she lived with a lovely Parisian family, who to this day remain her close friends.  She was living far away from home, missing her boyfriend and mother, and her parents were divorced.  Kate became fluent in French, and of course it was a different way of life than living in NY.

When I think of a French lady, I envision red lips, black stylish clothing, such as a Chanel dress, drinking strong espresso, wearing a beautiful fragrance, and of course smoking a cigarette!  After Kate was promoted, she rented a lovely apartment and met Herve, a Frenchman, who would drive her out to Giverny, which was Monet’s home. The French countryside became a weekend getaway for them, getting out of the hustle and bustle of Paris. As time progressed and Kate became more involved with work, she would work late nights and even on the weekends.  She would attend all of the couture shows and then run back to the office and write about them. Her relationship with Herve went down the tubes, and they parted ways.  It was a this point that she decided to leave Paris and go back to NY. Luckily she was hired by Anna Wintour, at Vogue. Several months later, she was sent back to Paris, and became Paris editor for Vogue.  She was fortunate to meet Yves Saint Laurent, Helmut Lang, and Christian Louboutin, and many more of the big designers.

At this point fashion was starting to change, women’s clothes became more masculine, designers were going towards a severe, modern look.  It became fashionable to look like a slob: torn jeans, and dark brazen colors. After working at Vogue, Kate became the youngest person to serve as editor in chief of Harper’s Bazaar. Today, Kate is married, and lives in NYC with her husband and two children.

While I was reading the book, I remembered when my mother would shop at this beautiful boutique in Oklahoma City, called Balliets. At the time it was located in the beautiful Skirvin (no, not scurvy, Skirvin!) Hotel.  This was over forty years ago.  My mother worked with a lady by the name of Hildegard, who was her personal shopper.  During those days, the big designers would fly in from NYC or Paris, and have what they would call a “trunk show.”  My mother had her favorite’s: Chanel, Adolfo, and Bill Blass.  My mother would stay for at least four hours, and order beautiful gowns and dresses for social events. There was a reason why she became one of the “best dressed women of Oklahoma City”!

I have been blessed to visit Paris with my wonderful husband several times.  The French are still classy, and dress simply yet elegantly.  When I return to the United States, it is quite a shock. Americans now wear jeans to work and even in the most upscale restaurants. Men wear their shirts not tucked in, and women think nothing of wearing jeans and tee shirts on Madison Avenue.

I am far from perfect and as I age comfort becomes a must, but come on, folks — can’t we dress as though we cared?

I want to mention fragrances, which is one of my passions, and also French women love to wear them.    I had the opportunity to work at I. Magnin, in Palo Alto, Ca.  I sold cosmetics and became acquainted with the old time classy fragrances.  Some of my favorites  are, Ombre Rose, Bal A Versailles, Joy, Ma Griffe, and Chanel No. 5.  Just to point out, Bal a Versailles was launched in 1962, Joy was launched in 1929, Ma Griffe was launched in 1946, and Chanel No.5 was launched in 1921. These wonderful fragrances, like classy dress, have stood the test of time.  I smell a little bit of Paris in them!

Another great read, actually incredible, rocked my life!   I remember Keith and I watching Charlie Rose one evening, and it caught my attention: Dan Harris discussing his book “10% Happier”. I love reading about being happy plus I remember him talking about meditation and mindfulness.

I decided to read the book, it excites me to tell you about it.  A bit about Dan, he is co-anchor of Nightline and the weekend editions of Good Morning America. He also does segments  for 20/20 and World News, and he reported to Peter Jennings. He had a very stressful job, traveling all over the world, Afghanistan and Tora Bora to name a few.   Dan got a taste of being in the public life constantly and always wanting more.  Due to the stress he turned to drugs, mainly cocaine and Ecstasy, and knew he was on the downhill.  Months later he suffered a panic attack while giving the news on Good Morning America.  His next move was to see a psychiatrist, and start anti-anxiety medication.  He was able to get off his drug binge, and stopped therapy. He  married a lovely woman, Bianca, who is a specialist in pulmonary and critical care medicine in Manhattan.   He interviewed Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, and the Dali Lama thinking maybe they would have the “right Answer” for his life.  He became interested in Dr. Mark Epstein, a NY Psychiatrist and Buddhist.  His wife bought him several books on Epstein and he was riveted. His world opened up after starting therapy with him.  He was introduced to Buddhism, and mindfulness, he also attended a week long silent retreat.

His lifeline and blessings from these top people were the words, meditation and mindfulness.  Here are some amazing concepts he learned and that I am learning now:

– Meditation can re-wire your brain.

– Meditation is the” new caffeine”, as stated in Wired Magazine.

– The present moment is all we have; “when you have one foot in the future and the other in the past, you piss on the present.”

In Buddhism, mindfulness and the acceptance of impermanence are critical concepts.  To accept Impermanence is to recognize that nothing lasts forever; therefore, non-attachment is vital. I had to work to grasp this, and I think I get it. We cling onto the past and the present whether it is someone you love or an event that happened. We have no control over the future, so why not just enjoy this moment and appreciate it and those you are with.

Accept that nothing lasts forever, enjoy now, you will never get it back. The people in our lives are blessings but they and we will not last forever. Our ego gives rein to our chaotic minds; these are just thoughts, see them for what they are. Our ego coughs up alot of garbage, let it go!  Mindfulness is having the ability to be aware of this moment, recognize what is going on and have no judgement. Buddhism says mindfulness is an alternative to living reactively; there is no need to react just recognize and let it go.

So, why the title “10% Happier”? Dan realized by practicing meditation and mindfulness, he was actually 10% more happy. Not a wild, dramatic claim, just a significant improvement in his life. He knows it helps him get through his days and knows he is doing the right thing for him.

I want to leave you with some insights of my own. I will never forget seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist not long ago because of my focusing issues and sensitivity. She looked at me in a very intense way and said, ” Go and meditate” and handed me a printout on meditation. She must have repeated that to me every time I saw her. I quit seeing her because I thought that was harsh and I could not do it. Now, I would love to say thank you to her!

Secondly, years ago when we were living in San Francisco, I attended an eight week seminar on mindfulness meditation. It was just okay for me, but, I never re-visited meditation. I am going to try it again! A year ago, I heard about headspace.com, I loved it and quit before Christmas, being too busy. That is when I needed it the most. Today, I am going back to meditate with Headspace. com.  I think it is meant for me, I encourage you to check out their website.  Namaste.

While I was on vacation a lovely woman handed me a book she had just read, “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years –How I  Learned To Live a Better Story,” by Donald Miller.

Once in a blue moon, people will say “Tell me Your Story”, and when it happens I feel so honored and loved. But it hardly ever happens. I can only think of a dear friend and my husband and many therapists!   Donald Miller’s story is his own — an overweight man, in his early thirties , who has just finished writing his memoir.  This was a success, but like experiencing any big moment in one’s life, that high comes down and he was depressed  and stuck.   He is approached by two filmmakers about making a movie based on his memoir. Donald realizes his life story should be more about “the way he should live his life” as opposed to the wild crazy life he’s led to that point, that he has the opportunity to create a different life that includes experience, faith, courage and love.

He learns through many life changing events what is going to make his story. He needed to get off his ass and get away from his comfort zone and see what life can offer. The basic structure of most stories is a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it.  Miller begins by working in a soup kitchen, which I have often thought about. Here is just one of his quotes that melts my heart: “If I have a  hope, it’s that God sat over the dark nothing and wrote you and me specifically into the story and put us in with the sunset and the rainstorm as though to say, Enjoy your place in my story. The beauty of it means you matter, and you can create within it even as I have created you.”

He then focuses on the sad fact that he has not seen his father since his mother and dad divorced over thirty years ago. He opens up to his mom and shares with her how he wants to see his dad, and she is able to obtain where he is living and his phone number. Don shows up at his father’s door step, putting all fear aside, and confronts his dad. The outcome was so beautiful, his father apologizes and looks Don in the eye and tells him he loves him.

Here is another example of a story.  Don is hot after this gal, she wants to hike the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu, which is 14,000 feet. Don hires a trainer and guess what, he does the entire hike, with the girl and a group of friends.

In another episode, Don has started the Mentoring Project, which is a program for children from fatherless homes.  That light bulb went on and he realized that in order to have a story, he needed to take risks and go experience life.  Spirituality is an interesting part of Don’s world,  He is a believer in God, and sees God in his challenges and in a beautiful sunset.

One of his quotes is”I like those scenes in the bible where God stops people and asks them to build an altar.I think God wanted his people to build altars for their sake, something that would help them remember the time when they were rescued or they were given grace”.

Most of us are just fine with sitting in our own little worlds, and take careful steps. Do we want to go out of our comfort zones? I honestly think from the age of 5, I was out of my comfort zone. At that age, I released the parking brake on my mom’s friend’s car, jumped out and was almost crushed by the tire that tore my ear off. Later, I was shipped off to boarding school, watched both of my parents die from cancer, endured my father hiring a private detective to snoop on me, and survived a divorce. And I met the man of my dreams. Believe me I have learned alot from my life and will continue to. God has a plan, and I am just blessed to be a part of it.

When I return home, I am going to sign up at the soup kitchen.

Continue reading →

Hi Dear Friends,

Have you ever read a book that you know was made for you?  During the summer, I was at my Dear friend Amy’s house.  She is my psychic angel, we share fragrances and books, and a wonderful friendship.   I happened to see a bright yellow book on her desk, called “Letting Go” The Pathway of Surrender. The book is written by David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D.  I,  as usual was in a hurry and forgot about it.   Several months later, my meditation teacher pulled it out of her drawer and highly recommended it to me.   I immediately ordered it and start reading it. This book is something I have been looking for.   I was diganosed with an anxiety disorder which goes hand in hand with ADHD.  So, I worry alot, and want to take care of everyone, and at times doubt myself.  I have been in therapy, but decided with my ADHD Coaching and my new sense of self, I got so much more out “Letting Go”. Every morning I go downstairs and read the book and highlight what is speaking to me.  The sense of calmness and happiness soothed my soul every time I picked  up the book.  I understand now how important it is to let go of all of that, negative self talk, forget the past and the future, live in this moment now!  It is that ego of ours that takes us on a wild ride, get rid of it.  There is only one you, and you are a gift, and no-one was made to be perfect. I work on this daily, and when my mind and ego start to push me in that negative direction, I acknowledge my thoughts and bring my mind back to the present, and laugh and let go.  I try to see the good in every situation, and I keep on with the wheel of life all of us are on.

There are twenty one chapters in this book. Here are a couple of my favorite excerpts:

“It is very good to start the day by surrendering your thoughts and feelings about your expectations, to picture the way you would like it to go, and to let go of all negative thoughts that would interfere with the day going in that way.”

“Let’s not forget that we are letting go of all of the programs that have made us a slave and a victim for so long.  These programs have blinded us to the truth of our real identity.”

Happy Sunday!  It has been a long time since I have written. I am reading a thoughtful, spiritual book, Soul Keeping , by John Ortberg.  When I lived in Portola Valley, Ca, I attended John’s church.  Menlo Park Presbyterian church, is a huge church, one that was too big for me, and I also got lost in the shuffle. The great gift was having John Ortberg as the pastor. His sermons touched my heart and I could connect with him.

I woke up this morning and started reading about, Caring for the most important part of you, your soul. He starts out the book by saying it is so easy to lose one’s soul in this fast paced, do do world. I am blessed by my life, but it is difficult to sometimes stay afloat, with all the emails, and the rest of the social networking happening. I also have a busy mind, and choosing what to do at a certain time is like a big wave coming at me. It is all good, a blessing from God. You have to laugh.

Here are some of my favorite writings so far in the book:

“The soul is the deepest part of you, there is a depth to your soul that is beyond words.A deep soul has the capacity to understand and empathize deeply with other people, not just himself. A deep soul notices and questions and doesn’t just go through the motions. A deep soul lives in conscious awareness of eternity, not simply today.” Our soul connects with God, he gave us our beautiful souls, this I know so well.

I have a dear friend in Napa Valley her name is Carol, when I was going through my divorce and was scared and lonely she was always there for me. I remember her saying to me, it is okay to do nothing, be happy and your faith and God will guide you. It warmed my heart and still does today. Yes, it is good to be quiet, to reflect on what really matters, and I thank her for her wisdom and friendship and my love for God.  Seals and Crofts did a beautiful song, We May Never Pass This Way Again, I can still hear it playing in my head, ” Life, so they say, is but a game, and they let it slip away,…. Like Columbus in the olden days, we must gather all our courage, sail our ships out on the open sea, cast away our fears, and all the  years will come and go and take us up, always up.” So, how does this connect to my point about the soul? It is those special moments in our lives, that make our souls sing, knowing we will not have that second again , I do my best to treasure my husband, Keith, and my dear friends and family. It is so easy to get caught up on all the hustle and bustle, but what really matters is that shared moment with a loved one, and knowing how precious it is , because We May Never Pass This Way Again.  Let’s pay attention to our Souls, I love you, Courtney xoox

Dear Friends and Family,

After all the hustle and bustle of holiday planning, I sit here with thankfulness , compassion , love and a moment of stillness. I thank God for all of you, If I have not been in touch with you, I am sorry. You are true blessings in my life. When you lay your heads down tonight, please know that God and his Angels always keep watch over you. To me, life Is about unconditional love and gratitude . 

Love,

Courtney 

Good Morning, it is already Friday!  I read a fantastic article in the Sunday New York Times, regarding Meditation. My brain is like a Ferrari, and I crave to quiet myself . I have tried different meditation programs, bought many books, and I took a mindfulness meditation class in San Francisco for eight weeks. I  have to laugh, on the final day of my meditation class, we could not speak from 9-5, the lunch break was something I will never forget. We had to walk around in the dark and not look at anyone.  I ended up walking into a wall, and of course was laughing my head off.  I took my tiny peanut butter sandwich into the large dark room, sat down, and there were people lying on the floor. Next thing I knew , someone farted so loud, I threw the sandwich out, and wanted out of the place asap! It was like an animal farm.

The good news is , this past week, I found an incredible, visual and fun meditation site, it is called headspace.com. I love the man who guides it , he lives in England and his voice is just like Chris Martin’s from Coldplay. He is not touchy feely, he teaches executives, and the rest of humanity. I bought a year subscription, and I am on day five. I go out to the barn, light a candle and love love it. Please take a look at the website. Oh, the englishman, was also a buddhist monk, and has written a book which I hope to read this weekend. Namaste, Courtney . xoxooxxooxoxo

Today was a special day, Jessie gave birth to Graham Thompson Malin at 12:01 am. I am so excited and in awe , please notice that Graham has no wrinkles,  He is a beautiful angel and his dear mom, Jessie carried him so carefully and lovingly for these past nine months. I have always been so fascinated on a baby coming into this world.  I cannot wait to hold him, and smell him, and watch his little eyes open and close.  He is beautiful just like Mason, Jessie and Brent ,  I am so fortunate to have Keith, Jessie, Brent and Mason as my  family. Welcome to the world, Graham. Love, Grandma xooxoxoxo