While I was on vacation a lovely woman handed me a book she had just read, “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years –How I  Learned To Live a Better Story,” by Donald Miller.

Once in a blue moon, people will say “Tell me Your Story”, and when it happens I feel so honored and loved. But it hardly ever happens. I can only think of a dear friend and my husband and many therapists!   Donald Miller’s story is his own — an overweight man, in his early thirties , who has just finished writing his memoir.  This was a success, but like experiencing any big moment in one’s life, that high comes down and he was depressed  and stuck.   He is approached by two filmmakers about making a movie based on his memoir. Donald realizes his life story should be more about “the way he should live his life” as opposed to the wild crazy life he’s led to that point, that he has the opportunity to create a different life that includes experience, faith, courage and love.

He learns through many life changing events what is going to make his story. He needed to get off his ass and get away from his comfort zone and see what life can offer. The basic structure of most stories is a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it.  Miller begins by working in a soup kitchen, which I have often thought about. Here is just one of his quotes that melts my heart: “If I have a  hope, it’s that God sat over the dark nothing and wrote you and me specifically into the story and put us in with the sunset and the rainstorm as though to say, Enjoy your place in my story. The beauty of it means you matter, and you can create within it even as I have created you.”

He then focuses on the sad fact that he has not seen his father since his mother and dad divorced over thirty years ago. He opens up to his mom and shares with her how he wants to see his dad, and she is able to obtain where he is living and his phone number. Don shows up at his father’s door step, putting all fear aside, and confronts his dad. The outcome was so beautiful, his father apologizes and looks Don in the eye and tells him he loves him.

Here is another example of a story.  Don is hot after this gal, she wants to hike the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu, which is 14,000 feet. Don hires a trainer and guess what, he does the entire hike, with the girl and a group of friends.

In another episode, Don has started the Mentoring Project, which is a program for children from fatherless homes.  That light bulb went on and he realized that in order to have a story, he needed to take risks and go experience life.  Spirituality is an interesting part of Don’s world,  He is a believer in God, and sees God in his challenges and in a beautiful sunset.

One of his quotes is”I like those scenes in the bible where God stops people and asks them to build an altar.I think God wanted his people to build altars for their sake, something that would help them remember the time when they were rescued or they were given grace”.

Most of us are just fine with sitting in our own little worlds, and take careful steps. Do we want to go out of our comfort zones? I honestly think from the age of 5, I was out of my comfort zone. At that age, I released the parking brake on my mom’s friend’s car, jumped out and was almost crushed by the tire that tore my ear off. Later, I was shipped off to boarding school, watched both of my parents die from cancer, endured my father hiring a private detective to snoop on me, and survived a divorce. And I met the man of my dreams. Believe me I have learned alot from my life and will continue to. God has a plan, and I am just blessed to be a part of it.

When I return home, I am going to sign up at the soup kitchen.

Continue reading →

Hi Dear Friends,

Have you ever read a book that you know was made for you?  During the summer, I was at my Dear friend Amy’s house.  She is my psychic angel, we share fragrances and books, and a wonderful friendship.   I happened to see a bright yellow book on her desk, called “Letting Go” The Pathway of Surrender. The book is written by David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D.  I,  as usual was in a hurry and forgot about it.   Several months later, my meditation teacher pulled it out of her drawer and highly recommended it to me.   I immediately ordered it and start reading it. This book is something I have been looking for.   I was diganosed with an anxiety disorder which goes hand in hand with ADHD.  So, I worry alot, and want to take care of everyone, and at times doubt myself.  I have been in therapy, but decided with my ADHD Coaching and my new sense of self, I got so much more out “Letting Go”. Every morning I go downstairs and read the book and highlight what is speaking to me.  The sense of calmness and happiness soothed my soul every time I picked  up the book.  I understand now how important it is to let go of all of that, negative self talk, forget the past and the future, live in this moment now!  It is that ego of ours that takes us on a wild ride, get rid of it.  There is only one you, and you are a gift, and no-one was made to be perfect. I work on this daily, and when my mind and ego start to push me in that negative direction, I acknowledge my thoughts and bring my mind back to the present, and laugh and let go.  I try to see the good in every situation, and I keep on with the wheel of life all of us are on.

There are twenty one chapters in this book. Here are a couple of my favorite excerpts:

“It is very good to start the day by surrendering your thoughts and feelings about your expectations, to picture the way you would like it to go, and to let go of all negative thoughts that would interfere with the day going in that way.”

“Let’s not forget that we are letting go of all of the programs that have made us a slave and a victim for so long.  These programs have blinded us to the truth of our real identity.”

Happy Sunday!  It has been a long time since I have written. I am reading a thoughtful, spiritual book, Soul Keeping , by John Ortberg.  When I lived in Portola Valley, Ca, I attended John’s church.  Menlo Park Presbyterian church, is a huge church, one that was too big for me, and I also got lost in the shuffle. The great gift was having John Ortberg as the pastor. His sermons touched my heart and I could connect with him.

I woke up this morning and started reading about, Caring for the most important part of you, your soul. He starts out the book by saying it is so easy to lose one’s soul in this fast paced, do do world. I am blessed by my life, but it is difficult to sometimes stay afloat, with all the emails, and the rest of the social networking happening. I also have a busy mind, and choosing what to do at a certain time is like a big wave coming at me. It is all good, a blessing from God. You have to laugh.

Here are some of my favorite writings so far in the book:

“The soul is the deepest part of you, there is a depth to your soul that is beyond words.A deep soul has the capacity to understand and empathize deeply with other people, not just himself. A deep soul notices and questions and doesn’t just go through the motions. A deep soul lives in conscious awareness of eternity, not simply today.” Our soul connects with God, he gave us our beautiful souls, this I know so well.

I have a dear friend in Napa Valley her name is Carol, when I was going through my divorce and was scared and lonely she was always there for me. I remember her saying to me, it is okay to do nothing, be happy and your faith and God will guide you. It warmed my heart and still does today. Yes, it is good to be quiet, to reflect on what really matters, and I thank her for her wisdom and friendship and my love for God.  Seals and Crofts did a beautiful song, We May Never Pass This Way Again, I can still hear it playing in my head, ” Life, so they say, is but a game, and they let it slip away,…. Like Columbus in the olden days, we must gather all our courage, sail our ships out on the open sea, cast away our fears, and all the  years will come and go and take us up, always up.” So, how does this connect to my point about the soul? It is those special moments in our lives, that make our souls sing, knowing we will not have that second again , I do my best to treasure my husband, Keith, and my dear friends and family. It is so easy to get caught up on all the hustle and bustle, but what really matters is that shared moment with a loved one, and knowing how precious it is , because We May Never Pass This Way Again.  Let’s pay attention to our Souls, I love you, Courtney xoox

Dear Friends and Family,

After all the hustle and bustle of holiday planning, I sit here with thankfulness , compassion , love and a moment of stillness. I thank God for all of you, If I have not been in touch with you, I am sorry. You are true blessings in my life. When you lay your heads down tonight, please know that God and his Angels always keep watch over you. To me, life Is about unconditional love and gratitude . 

Love,

Courtney 

Good Morning, it is already Friday!  I read a fantastic article in the Sunday New York Times, regarding Meditation. My brain is like a Ferrari, and I crave to quiet myself . I have tried different meditation programs, bought many books, and I took a mindfulness meditation class in San Francisco for eight weeks. I  have to laugh, on the final day of my meditation class, we could not speak from 9-5, the lunch break was something I will never forget. We had to walk around in the dark and not look at anyone.  I ended up walking into a wall, and of course was laughing my head off.  I took my tiny peanut butter sandwich into the large dark room, sat down, and there were people lying on the floor. Next thing I knew , someone farted so loud, I threw the sandwich out, and wanted out of the place asap! It was like an animal farm.

The good news is , this past week, I found an incredible, visual and fun meditation site, it is called headspace.com. I love the man who guides it , he lives in England and his voice is just like Chris Martin’s from Coldplay. He is not touchy feely, he teaches executives, and the rest of humanity. I bought a year subscription, and I am on day five. I go out to the barn, light a candle and love love it. Please take a look at the website. Oh, the englishman, was also a buddhist monk, and has written a book which I hope to read this weekend. Namaste, Courtney . xoxooxxooxoxo

Today was a special day, Jessie gave birth to Graham Thompson Malin at 12:01 am. I am so excited and in awe , please notice that Graham has no wrinkles,  He is a beautiful angel and his dear mom, Jessie carried him so carefully and lovingly for these past nine months. I have always been so fascinated on a baby coming into this world.  I cannot wait to hold him, and smell him, and watch his little eyes open and close.  He is beautiful just like Mason, Jessie and Brent ,  I am so fortunate to have Keith, Jessie, Brent and Mason as my  family. Welcome to the world, Graham. Love, Grandma xooxoxoxo

Oh, I love Gratitude, there are so many thousands of things to be grateful for. I actually stop myself in my tracks, to shift a negative mindset into being thankful. Hey, every morning when my feet hit the ground and I can hug my husband how lucky is that!!  A thank you is so easy and telling those you love that they are so special. WE have this moment, today, now, do not hold back, who knows what is next.  To me this journey is just a brief stop and there is so much beauty to soak in and give back. I keep trying to give back, but,  I have ideas I want to pursue.  I am thinking of those in hospitals, can I just go get them coffee or a gift while they are having their chemotherapy treatments?  If I over think this, then I get to excited and freeze. I am still trying to sort this idea out in my mind.  Enjoy your day, all of you are such a gift to me.

“When You change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”  Max Planck

Good Morning. Hope all my love’s slept well. Here is a picture that I colored of carnations in pink, which represents fidelity. I love flowers and the colors!!!